Dating my ex husbands friend

After all, there seems to be an unspoken rule that such drama is best avoided. But recent life events involving my best friend and my ex-husband have taken me by surprise. Last spring, my best friend, Nina, said she had something important to tell me. When I arrived at her place, she asked me to sit down for the news. I obliged, feeling like a patient about to receive a terminal diagnosis. Silently, Go here took her seat opposite me. I caught a twinge of apprehension in her gray eyes as she tried to read my face.

Woman Man

Sometimes when you develop feelings they happen to be for your friend's ex. But, pursuing these feelings might not always be worth it. Some friends might be cool with you dating their ex, but other friends may feel it's crossing the line. Here are some potential flags to consider if you're trying to click whether or not dating someone your friend has dated is a good idea. Whether the relationship busbands down in flames or if two dating you can use 17 who truly loved each other realized that things just weren't going to work out, most breakups can be tough. And some can be worse than others.

My Ex is Dating my Friend! How to cope - Divorced Girl Smiling


Woman Man

Click the following article are a few different things that happened during the time I was newly separated that caused me to classify myself as temporarily psychotic, one of those being when I figured out "my ex is dating my friend! I seriously felt like I was going to go insane. Here was a woman who I thought was my good girlfriend. We had gotten together a few hksbands and I had told her things -- personal things about my ex and our relationship, why I was getting divorced, etc. I shared things with her and trusted her.

It started our innocently enough. Brian had been divorced for three years when he filled out the cumbersome eHarmony profile. Looking through all the profiles on other dating sites was daunting, so he decided to let a computer do the mate selection for him. He had a good feeling about this, and as luck would have it, his instincts were on target. Among the matches eHarmony's algorithms presented him with, he discovered Angie, a beautiful and intelligent woman who shared many of his passions. However, the match had an unexpected complication: Angie had been married to a long-ago friend of Brian's. Nevertheless, Brian thought about it and decided to contact Angie anyway.

She grabbed my hand and led me to where the other girls were playing hopscotch. After that, I looked for Nina in the playground every recess. We survived high school and several drunken college years together. Her friendship saved me. In my early twenties, after my childhood sweetheart left me, it was Nina who coaxed me not to give up on life. She stroked my hair while I sat naked and broken in the bathtub, contemplating a packet of razor blades.

Later, following my first abortion, I sobbed all over again into the soft familiarity of her body. She nursed me out of the depression that plagued me for months afterward. Say what you will, but Nina was my rock throughout the years. I saw her as a badass lioness of a woman. Her tough motherly love and strong moral compass made her my hero and guiding star. I must add than Nina was more than merely a comfort in my sorrows. We shared plenty of good times, too. When I married my partner Jayden in , Nina was the maid of honor at my wedding.

She also caught my flowers in the bouquet toss. Meanwhile, I cheered her on as she rose through the ranks at her accounting firm, securing raises year after year. When I chickened out, Nina spilled the beans in a phone call to Jayden.

That revelation prompted him to file for divorce. Sitting in her kitchen, listening to her words, I felt a strange, new emotion toward Nina. It was suspicion. My suspicion could have gotten the better of me that day. For a moment, I felt tempted to throw a hissy fit, to accuse Nina of some long-standing plot to take my husband from me. But before my anger took hold, I realized how ludicrous that would be.

I gave him up myself the day I cheated on him. Indirectly, I created the circumstances that led to Jayden being available. If Nina and Jayden ended up falling in love afterward, did I have anyone to blame but myself? And in any case, why was there a need to blame anyone? The more love in the world, the better. If Jayden was happy with Nina, and she with him, then such news warranted joy, not anger.

Besides, Jayden and I were never right for each other. I knew Nina would be a better partner to Jayden than I had ever been. Sure, it hurt to hear Nina implying that she and Jayden saved each other from me.

But if she felt that way, why should I take issue with her truth? In reality, my infidelity had traumatic consequences that affected everyone in my life. After I cheated, I kept it a secret for two years and used liquor to numb my guilt. I was a wreck the whole time, yet I was too drunk to see how much I was distressing everyone close to me. Maybe Nina and Jayden were able to support each other at a time when I could only offer them pain.

The best thing I could possibly say about my infidelity is that it had the unexpected outcome of bringing two well-suited people together. Thinking of it that way actually makes it a little easier to forgive myself for it. I got divorced in April Nina broke the news about her relationship with Jayden in Six years may not sound like a long time in the grand scheme of things, but Jayden and I had a relatively short marriage.

Many of my open wounds had already healed and closed. I had no desire to cling to the past. In fact, one might argue I never loved Jayden as much as he deserved. In a way, I felt glad Jayden was showing signs of moving on. If a new relationship will in any way diminish the pain I caused him, I want him to experience that relationship.

That man deserves all the love the universe has to offer him. Both her parents died when she was nineteen. Summarizing my position perfectly, she says:. Indeed, some of my other friends have told me that Nina meddled in my marriage with malicious intentions. Did Nina want Jayden all along?

But will she make a better partner to him than I did? I may be well within my rights to accuse Nina of foul play. I imagine that most women like to have the same sense of consent.

At the very least, it shows her the respect that she deserves given that you have had a relationship. By asking, you let your friend know that you care about the friendship at stake. Of course, not all situations are created equal. Sure, it might make for good cinema, but at what point are you willing to end friendships, complicate entire friend groups, and potentially divide families? We all want to be happy, and most of us are looking for someone with whom to live happily ever after.

If you go about it the right way, many of these complicated relationships can, at the very least, be given a shot. The most important thing, as is true in most cases, is to be proactive, communicate clearly, and be thoughtful and considerate, especially when there are strong emotions involved.

And remember, it never hurts to ask. Is the date going well? Here's what he's probably thinking. How to know when it's time to take matters into your own hands.

The difference between being friendly and flirting can be pretty subtle sometimes. Can we change our ways, or will online dating and hookup culture prevail?

This is quite possibly a man's most dreaded relationship status. Let your authentic self shine through without these distractions.

Home Relationships. By Isaac Huss Dec 14, By Isaac Huss Sep 2, By Isaac Huss Mar 3, By Isaac Huss Aug 26, By Justin Petrisek Jul 26, By Isaac Huss Sep 1, By Isaac Huss May 27,

Woman Man

You Might Also Like